| The serious condition known as "Uilleann
Pipes" has broken out in a Dublin pub. Symptoms of this
condition include the development of a stick-like growth known
as a "chanter" from both hands and a malignant air-filled
bag protruding in an unsightly fashion from the elbow. In serious
cases sufferers have been known to develop further extensions
known as "drones" and "regulators". |
| Whilst this condition is not in itself
life threatening, it can cause severe pain and suffering, particularly
in the early stages of development. One unusual aspect of "Uilleann
Pipes" is that the sufferers themselves are often oblivious
to the nature of the condition and it is loved ones and carers
that endure the bulk of the distress brought about by this condition. |
| A worrying new development has been
noted in and around Miltown Malbay, where mutated forms called
"C", "C#" and "B" have been reported.
Sadly those presenting with such symptoms have been socially
isolated and excluded from their community to an even greater
extent than those presenting with the standard "D"form. |
| Medical experts are baffled as to the
actual cause of "Uilleann Pipes" but there is growing
evidence of a genetic component in that the condition is frequently
passed from father to son. The incidence of women sufferers
is much smaller leading experts to speculate that females may
have some natural immunity, with the unfortunate exception of
Becky
Taylor who has one of the worst cases on record. |
| Another disturbing feature of "Uilleann
Pipes" is that whilst the number of sufferers is reported
to be on the increase there are also a number of "carriers".
These are people who can been seen walking the streets at night
with their unsightly organs covered from public view by protective
cases. Generally it is only a matter of time before these "carriers"
expose the contents of these cases often to unsuspecting friends
and family at social gatherings. |
| There is some good news for sufferers
in that a number of self-help support groups have been set up.
Dublin residents can avail of "Na
Píobairí Uilleann", a long established
meeting place for those with serious afflictions. Here sufferers
can meet and openly discuss their problem in a supportive environment
free from the prejudice and harassment associated with "Uilleann
Pipes". |
| As yet there is no known treatment
for "Uilleann Pipes", however there is some hope following
the recent successful treatment of "Big Red Box" (medical
term "Paulo Soprani"), whereby sufferers were given
treatment known as "Castagnari" and re-introduced
gradually into the community. |
| If you suspect that someone you know
has contracted "Uilleann Pipes" then you should advise
them to seek professional counselling from a qualified psychologist.
In the meantime you are advised to keep your distance and avoid
close contact in order to prevent serious injury or even loss
of life. |
Don't suffer alone! The North
West Uilleann Pipers have been set up to empower those
afflicted and help them on the path to recovery. Primarily
for residents in NW England, but they welcome sufferers from
further afield.
|
